I don’t WANT to “stay positive”, or “live with my heart open”, or “be optimistic”.
I want to be realistic. I want to have my ups and downs, feeling high on life one moment, and then the next, sinking to my lowest point, and I don’t care, because I know it’s all a part of life; I have no reason to act constantly apathetic about it. I don’t care, because I know how crappy you make me feel and then how amazing when I finally realize I was just overreacting. I don’t care, because I’m not fatalistic, I can change my future if I want to, because it is the future. It hasn’t happened yet. I won’t let the little things drag me down, I won’t let the big things get me down, I won’t let schoolwork or so-called “drama” or hormones or feelings bring me down.
And sometimes, I’ll just live to live. Like walking on an endless expanse of beach. Feeling the water, but not feeling. Like closing my eyes and listening to an endless playlist. Hearing the notes resonate, but not hearing. I’ll just close off, because I can.
And then I’ll come back again, because who would waste such a precious thing as time without actually using it to accomplish something?
The following is completely irrelevant to people who don’t go to school with me.
now, dear english teacher, if you’d like, I can point out every single example of polysyndeton and asyndeton and parallelism and anaphora and as a bonus, I’ll throw in that SAT term I just used. and since you don’t read my tumblr, THAT was an example of apostrophe.